Monthly Archives: February 2010
Penis palaver
It’s a famous old joke, I know, but how many firefighters does it take to free a penis from a steel pipe? Southern Daily Echo, 7 January 2010: Southampton man cut free after getting penis stuck in steel pipe A … Continue reading
Filed under Bravery, Upstanding locals
Critically low on bedding
I love the idea of opening your heart and your linen cupboard simultaneously. The Andover Advertiser makes it sound so easy, but in reality the task of disclosing one’s innermost emotions and dealing with the burden of day-to-day housekeeping can … Continue reading
Filed under Upstanding locals
Super Size Louth
Local interest grass-roots campaigns just aren’t what they used to be. Proof, if proof be need be, is provided by this most depressing of Facebook campaigns calling for a McDonalds to be built in Louth, Lincolnshire. Louth Leader, 12 January … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor
Newsflash: Norman Tebbit admits wrongdoings
It’s always heartwarming when an ignorant old bigot of a Tory like Norman Tebbit holds his hands up and says: “I was wrong.” Unfortunately, he’s only admitting to being wrong about the origin of some empty wine bottles in Bury … Continue reading
Filed under Celebs in the 'hood
Gazette Faces, Vol. 4
It’s time for the next installment of facial bypasses. Redcar club owner hits out over signs Snakes give Marton neighbours fright of their lives Minister speaks out after theft from Stockton church Lingdale’s nothing like the Wild West say villagers … Continue reading
Filed under Gazette Faces
‘I could be described as a miserable old git, but…’
Ever had that feeling where everything seems to go against you and you start to blame your personal problems and low self-esteem on politically correct environmentalists around the globe? If so, it looks like you accidentally wrote all about it … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor
Teddy where?
Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 7 November 2009: Girl’s plea to Gazette readers over missing Teddy A HEARTBROKEN little girl is hoping a Gazette reader has spotted her missing teddy bear. Six-year-old Rebecca Howard was out shopping with her mum, Miriam McCann, … Continue reading
Filed under Getting oneself in the paper
On the Road
One major benefit associated with regional newspaper websites is the opportunity for readers to interact and engage about the big topics dominating the news agenda. Readers of the Reading Post went to town on this occasion, and understandably so.
Pigeonocide (Part 2 of 2)
Vigilante action on the part of upstanding locals with admirable intentions to rid Market Rasen of its feathered gits – as documented in Part 1 – led to an outpouring of angry disbelief from pro-pigeon oddballs in the letters page … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor, Pigeons, Upstanding locals
Pigeonocide (Part 1 of 2)
It’s not often that Market Rasen, the 24-hour party capital of Lincolnshire comprising 3,200 townsfolk, is brought to a standstill. In the latter half of 2009, however, an infestation of problem pigeons under the railway bridge wrought havoc on the … Continue reading
Filed under Pigeons, Upstanding locals
White and large
An appeal to readers: please look out for anyone who may fit this description. The Bolton News, 25 January 2009: Teenager tells of club attack ordeal A TEENAGER has described the moment he was attacked in a Bolton nightclub on … Continue reading
Filed under Editorial
Perverting the course of gardening
Man jailed for six weeks for putting a woman off sausages. Faith in the Great British justice system: restored. Thanks to Angry people in local newspapers for this. Reading Post, 2 September 2009: Naked neighbour ‘put me off men’ By … Continue reading
Filed under Flashers
Ludicrous adverts in local papers #1
Would you? Thanks to Hayley Dunlop, who was absolutely, utterly and decidedly baffled upon finding this advert for a non-dentist in her local newspaper, Greenwich Time.
Filed under Ludicrous adverts
Stop the world, my bin won’t close
It is a truth universally acknowledged that 73% of regional news coverage relates to wheelie bins (the other 27% comprises 18% about ASBOs for flashers and 9% about dog mess). There are few matters proven to be capable of riling … Continue reading
Filed under Getting oneself in the paper
