Monthly Archives: April 2010
It’s all over the letters page, you give me road rage
This letter has it all: hysteria, self pity, physical insults, human insecurity, a touching element of forgiveness, and excessive exclamation marks!!! If you know the malicious mini driver in question, or indeed if you are her, please get in touch. … Continue reading
How to spot UFOs and literally draw far-fetched conclusions
It’s always wonderful when regional newspapers are able to avoid publishing multiple empty pages on slow news days by instead publishing drawings by demented members of the public. UFOs, sometimes helpfully identified as ‘unidentified flying objects’, are, of course, a … Continue reading
Filed under Utter bullshit
Canine the Barbarian
Police are investigating but, much like an over-adventurous puppy, this one could run and run. Salisbury Journal, 24 April 2o10 (story): Dog injures nose POLICE in Ringwood are investigating the circumstances surrounding an injury to a dog’s nose. A woman … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards
Where is the poetic justice?
At first glance, it could have been just any old protest at plans to close a local primary school. But then the affected children publicly unburdened their souls through deeply moving verse. The Staines News was first on the scene. … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
Polling in (pizza) dough
Although British democracy is clearly in a poor state, the Reading Evening Post does its damnedest to buck the trend and genuinely listens to the voice of its readership. This is achieved via a succession of unnerving online polls on … Continue reading
Filed under Polls
Christ! Ee bah gum
Jesus seems to be popping up everywhere these days; he gets where water doesn’t. Plymouth Herald, 5 April 2010 (story): Family says ‘face of Jesus’ appeared in Mum’s gum A FAMILY have told of their wonder at finding ‘Jesus staring … Continue reading
Gazette Faces, Vol. 6
Straighten those lips, slacken that jaw and kill those eyes to a vacant stare for the sixth extravaganza of Teesside’s great and good newsfolk. Vandals hack stained glass at Redcar church Fury at rise in Middlesbrough allotment fees Guisborough Town … Continue reading
Filed under Gazette Faces
The way this country’s going
Q. What do you get when you cross Remembrance Sunday, littering yobs and an empty double decker bus? A. An idle and wasteful society, obviously. Market Rasen Mail, 18 November 2009: It’s going down the pan EDITOR – On the … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor, Moral outrage
Immortalised in Lego
Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has enough on her plate without this. Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 9 April 2010 (story): Darlington student makes Lego Amy Winehouse SINGER Amy Winehouse has been immortalised in Lego thanks to a budding artist. Justin Ramsden has … Continue reading
Hedging bets
Warm thanks to Dave King for forwarding this photo of the front page of the latest issue of the Chew Valley & Wrington Vale Gazette. This week in Chew Valley and Wrington Vale… that is quite some hedge: ‘Champion Hedger … Continue reading
Filed under Upstanding locals
Splayed on South Street
It’s not normally nice to laugh at those suffering pain, but people requiring specially reinforced stretchers are fair game. Romford Recorder, 5 March 2010 (story): Wheelchair man’s fall sparks road chaos A DISABLED man who was injured when his mobility … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred
The Incredible Hulk
There’s no doubt about it, eyewitness accounts are dumbing down. First it was police in Bolton on the hunt for someone ‘white and large’, and now this. Derby Telegraph, 15 March 2010 (story): ‘The hulk’ bit off my nose A … Continue reading
Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Heartless bastards
Slip John B
Never underestimate the ability of whinging locals to creatively combine the same old anti-Council hysteria about grit shortages with a homage to the Beach Boys. Halifax Evening Courier, 12 March 2010: Dear sir, Please print this song about the grit … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Letters to the Editor
