Monthly Archives: May 2010
Tits and nuts
Calling the people of Sunbury-on-Thames, Surrey, England… you are one step closer to the glory of knowing you have spawned the face of BigD nuts. Staines News, 21 May 2010 (story): Sunbury Page 3 girl wants your vote PAGE 3 … Continue reading
Filed under Flashers, One of our own, Upstanding locals
Bright Ears, burning like fire
The US military famously used songs by well-known artists (link) to assist the interrogation of terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay. If you happen to be in the US military and enjoy torturing folk, you might therefore be interested in this … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Sensational headlines
I’ve never voted Tory before, but we’ve got to eat puppies
The nether regions does not endorse orchestrated campaigns of vandalism or crude insults, except for when they’re directed at Tory election candidates. Failed Tory candidate Nick King ran crying to the Bournemouth Echo when his election posters were targeted as … Continue reading
Filed under Getting oneself in the paper, Moral outrage, Upstanding locals
Delight at return of post box
When mindless thugs (aren’t they always?) carried out a senseless act of vandalism (aren’t they always?) upon an innocent post box (aren’t they always?) last summer in the small market town of Wokingham, Berkshire, they probably didn’t appreciate the true … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Justice, Sensational headlines
Nappy flash
Never underestimate the power of a good e-fit. Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 4 April 2008 (story): Efit released of ‘flasher’ nappy man who dropped his trousers THIS is the face of a ‘flasher’ who dropped his trousers to reveal a nappy … Continue reading
Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Flashers
Aerial assault
Typical. Just when you’ve finally got to grips with the message about not letting cold-calling conmen through your front door to rob you of petty cash, they find new ways of getting in. Remain vigilant in the home: a conman … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Justice
Rules and Regulations
We could do with some government regulations against letters to newspapers like this. The Bolton News, 12 May 2010: Don’t let health and safety rule your life I BELIEVE we live in a Politically Correct and vastly over-regulated country, I … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor, Utter bullshit
‘Got to put it away now’
Many newspapers would pass up the opportunity to run a story like this. Thankfully the Lancashire Telegraph is not so picky, and delves into the matter with great gusto. Lancashire Telegraph, 12 April 2010 (story): Blackburn shop calls security over … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Moral outrage, Upstanding locals
Does not have a stable address
This isn’t just your bog-standard equine smutfest. Yorkshire Evening Post, 12 April 2010 (story): Man admits sex with horse and donkey A 66-year-old man has pleaded guilty to having sex with a horse and a donkey. Joseph Squires appeared at … Continue reading
Filed under Flashers, Upstanding locals
“The Pen” is mightier than the sword
Aside from stories about dog-dirt-riddled pavements or brave ‘Supermums’ repeatedly giving birth in order to achieve unnecessarily large families, the undoubted lifeblood of the regional newspaper is the mentally-unhinged serial letter writer. With boundless dedication to the cause and, occasionally, … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor, Utter bullshit
Pleaded guilty to damaging a dongle
The question we’re asking this morning on The Jeremy Kyle Show is: what is it about Norwich residents and their urges to put inappropriate objects through inappropriate openings? As if the ‘Man put melon through ex-partner’s cat-flap‘ story wasn’t enough … Continue reading
Filed under Justice, Sensational headlines
All in a lava
The nether regions, twinned with GrammarBlog, is always up for a spot of spelling and grammar pedantry. When that’s mixed with regional newspaper coverage, the pleasure is almost too much to take. Everyone should be ideologically opposed to levels of … Continue reading
