Monthly Archives: June 2010

Sumo-assaulting for summer solstice

Whilst fans of proper regional journalism should always be wary of the adoption of tabloid sensibilities for cheap thrills, you can’t deny this is a good headline. For a start, it packs the famed ‘who, what, where, when’, in that … Continue reading

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Filed under Sensational headlines

Troubled times in Hartlepool

Tuesday 19 January 2010 was a very turbulent news day in Hartlepool. As ever, the Hartlepool Mail was first on the scene. In shocking scenes, the paper reported the day the music truly died… Hartlepool Mail, 19 January 2010: CD … Continue reading

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Filed under Sensational headlines

Crap jobs for the work experience kid #1

Welcome to the first part of another doubtlessly ill-judged, ill-fated, ill-timed and ill-mannered series on The nether regions. In any year, a local newspaper will allow dozens of naive ex-Newsround Press Packers through its doors with the happy intention of … Continue reading

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Filed under Work experience kids

Putting ‘Pen’ to paper

The title of ‘Sunderland’s Most Judgmental Man’ is a fiercely contested accolade, but there’s little chance of it being taken away from Mick “The Pen” Brown any time soon. Further to his previous coverage here, it’s time to gently prod … Continue reading

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Filed under Letters to the Editor

‘Gripped by World Cup Fever’ digest

Never underestimate the determination of moon-faced, flag-toting cretins to get themselves in the local paper when England actually manage to qualify for a major international tournament. Families fly the flag for England – York Press Sneaky sons fly flag for … Continue reading

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Filed under Getting oneself in the paper

Insert blog headline here

The job cuts, low pay and unsociable working hours affecting workers across the regional journalism industry have really taken their toll at the Bedfordshire Times & Citizen. If headlines sell newspapers, I’d love to know how many copies they sold that … Continue reading

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Filed under Sensational headlines

Know your onions

You hear a lot of scare stories about buying goods from backstreet dealers but, frankly, there’s rarely anything to worry about. Ealing Gazette, 25 May 2010 (story): Bargain laptop turns out to be bag of onions A SCAM victim thought … Continue reading

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Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards

Stop crowing about it

Although pigeons are and always will be the most evil form of the avian species, The nether regions expresses sincere and heartfelt sympathy with those currently facing the menace of this crow in Catford, south London. Mind you, people who … Continue reading

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Filed under Bravery, Getting oneself in the paper, Heartless bastards

‘Swan eyed polling card like a piece of bread’

The multitudinous hurdles encountered by The Great British Public in attempting to exercise its vote in the recent general election have been well documented in the national media. But the turnout on 6 May wasn’t only limited by the damp … Continue reading

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Filed under Bravery, Sensational headlines, Upstanding locals

Gettin’ Jiggy Jiggy Wit Wife

You know that awful feeling when you arrive home in a taxi but realise you’ve got no money on you? The Bolton News, 13 April 2010 (story): Machete-man who chased taxi driver down the street disappears A TAXI passenger who … Continue reading

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Filed under Justice

Gazette Faces, Vol. 7

The previous six volumes of Gazette Faces have centred upon the Teesside area only. This is owing to the extraordinary skill of Middlesbrough’s Evening Gazette in repeatedly capturing its locals staring through the camera lens with blank faces and deadened … Continue reading

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Fish and loaves-ing in, er, Durham’s Millennium Place

Thank you to Michael Laverick for this story which proves adults will go to great lengths to find excuses to eat food aimed at children. Sunderland Echo, 24 May 2010 (story): The miracle of the fish-finger sandwiches Hungry shoppers were … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Consumer rights

The Cult of Alfred H Lister (Part II)

Welcome to the second installment of the most wonderfully-crafted bundles of wisdom from Alfred H Lister, long-standing literary treasure and ‘letters columnist’ of north-east England. (Read Part I here.) Police are yet to establish Alfred’s motive for this letter inexplicably … Continue reading

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Filed under Cult of Alfred H Lister, Letters to the Editor