The Nether Regions

Does what it says on the tin in the title. As if there hadn’t already been enough sequels of Free Willy…

Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 8 April 2010 (story):

North Yorkshire shop owner has stone willy seized by police

A CURIOSITY shop owner and councillor has had his stone willy seized by police after complaints it was obscene.

Jason Hadlow, chairman of Yarm Town Council and owner of the Simply Dutch store in Leeming Bar, North Yorkshire, was left gobsmacked at the confiscation.

Now he faces an £80 fine to get his 4ft high masonry manhood back – something he has refused to do.

“It’s absolute madness they’ve taken this willy – it was right there in the shop window next to a statue of Venus and a replica of Michelangelo’s David,” said the entrepreneur, who lives in Yarm.

“They involve boobs and willies – and there was a sign nearby saying Big Dick’s Sausages and they didn’t take that.”

Mr Hadlow was given 24 hours to remove the stone penis.

He added: “The policewoman said it was 4ft tall. It’s not that high, but people do often overestimate when it comes to willy size.”

Mr Hadlow has 21 days to pay the fine – but is hoping a Facebook group he set up called Free Willy will persuade the police to drop the charges – at the time the Evening Gazette went to print today he had 269 supporters online.

Health and safety gone mad, obviously.