The Nether Regions

The frenzied, overworked nature of modern day journalism means news reporters must ensure they have no flies on them.

Except, that is, for when their paper sends them to cover a plague of flies. This signalled the collapse of society in the unfortunate Lancashire villages of New Longton and Whitestake.

Thanks to swat spotter Lucy Longhurst for the story.

Lancashire Evening Post, 20 July 2010 (story):

Village plagued by flies

Millions of flies are making life a misery for villagers in rural Lancashire.

A local pub has been forced to slash its opening hours and families in New Longton and Whitestake say they are under siege from swarms of insects. It has become so bad The Farmers Arms, in Wham Lane, is closing at certain times of the day.

And a customer from Penwortham, who visited on Saturday, said: “The girls in there were swatting the flies away. They are opening for a few hours, then closing.

“It got worse and worse and we ended up having to rush our meal.”

Argggghh, indigestion!

Thankfully, the locals aren’t ones to moan:

John Capstick, who runs Buena Vista Furniture Services in nearby Long Moss Lane, said: “It’s been absolutely awful.The floors are littered with them. They get into everything.”

Claire Sutton, from Orchard Avenue, said: “Rooms were covered in flies and there’s a constant buzzing noise. We vacuumed up 114 in one night.”

Neighbour Anne Carter added: “We are killing hundreds a night. They’re everywhere.”

And childminder Deborah Lonsdale added: “It’s been horrendous. “I’ve lived here 22 years and never seen anything like this. Something has got to be done.”

A spokesman for brewery Mitchells and Butlers said: “We are coping with the situation and have been able to keep the carvery in operation … with a full clean down of the pub and carvery in between each service.”

The carvery must go on. Finally, a bit of Blitz Spirit.