Monthly Archives: August 2010
Man tried to rob supermarket armed with a fork
How to really make a meal of attempted robbery… Grimsby Telegraph, 20 July 2010 (story): Man tried to rob Grimsby supermarket armed with a fork A GRIMSBY man used a fork in an attempt to rob a Grimsby supermarket, but … Continue reading
Filed under Sensational headlines
Let the people speak
A couple of hugely enlightening polls from the local papers. Blackpool Gazette: Reading Post: Thanks to Mark Palmer and Ellie.
Police are keen to hear from anyone who may be missing a pet monkey
This week in deepest Lincolnshire… is it a squirrell? Is it a monkey? No, it’s just members of the local constabulary managing to trick a newspaper into publishing a police in-joke. Louth Leader, 13 August 2010 (story): Monkey spotted running … Continue reading
Filed under Utter bullshit
A timetable for bus withdrawal
You wait ages for a news story about bus timetable uproar, and then two come along at once. Just look at these ANGRY seething raging locals in Scotland, with their arms folded like an evil troupe of school dinnerladies: Barrhead … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards
The benefit of hand-sight
The regional media is happy to take its lead from the right wing national gutter press when it comes to scare stories about benefits. The Bolton News has exhaustively covered the story of Terry Langford, 62, non-cripple, who was recently … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Moral outrage, Utter bullshit
Sheep thrills
Local papers short on material simply love it when there’s a semi-humorous angle to what would otherwise be a tedious everyday occurrence, e.g. one person having their sleep disturbed. Surrey Comet, 27 July 2010 (story): Lost sheep wakes Worcester Park … Continue reading
Filed under Getting oneself in the paper, Utter bullshit
Important luncheon club update
Whilst waiting for a train connection at York railway station the other day, I pounced on the opportunity to purchase a copy of the Gazette & Herald, self-proclaimed as “Ryedale’s biggest selling weekly newspaper”. It turns out it has one … Continue reading
Filed under Community spirit, Widows
TODDLERS have been left in tears…
Yet more upset children blighting the news. But this time it’s about ‘TODDLERS’, a word which is so much more emotive and heart-rending when appearing in capital letters. Exeter Express & Echo, 21 July 2010 (story): Children distraught after playground … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards
Taxing questions
Welcome to the aptly named town of Mytholmroyd, near Halifax, where primary school playground myths and irrational schoolgirl fears about taxation are worthy of news coverage. Halifax Courier, 9 July 2010 (story): Nine-year-old Anna’s second letter to PM A NINE-YEAR-OLD … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Getting oneself in the paper
