Category Archives: Celebs in the 'hood

Bastard pensioner targets bastard aristocrats

It’s excellent to see the sophisticated OAPs of the north-east beginning to take direct action where it matters. The Northern Echo, 21 February 2011 (story): Water supply feud leads to pensioner’s threat to Percy family POLICE have been alerted after … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Community spirit, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals

Not really cardboard cut-out for a career in sales

This is a very sad episode in the life of Middlesbrough’s Evening Gazette. It’s all very well that local newspapers publish classified adverts so the locals can wheel and deal in household appliances and the like, but when such adverts … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Getting oneself in the paper, Utter bullshit

Forget ASBO Britain, it’s ASBO Britney

It’s been a while since The Nether Regions tackled the subject of harmless old men bearing their thighs for lucky members of the public. Dirty old men, how we have missed you. Northampton Chronicle, 2 February 2010 (story): ‘Britney Spears’ … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Stalkers

Parrotting on

Be careful if you’re out and about in the Manchester area: you could be accosted and taught naughty diction at any moment. Who’s a fucking pretty boy then, knobhead? Manchester Evening News, 30 June 2010 (story): Oh ****! Charlie the … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, One of our own

Fish and loaves-ing in, er, Durham’s Millennium Place

Thank you to Michael Laverick for this story which proves adults will go to great lengths to find excuses to eat food aimed at children. Sunderland Echo, 24 May 2010 (story): The miracle of the fish-finger sandwiches Hungry shoppers were … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Consumer rights

Nappy flash

Never underestimate the power of a good e-fit. Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 4 April 2008 (story): Efit released of ‘flasher’ nappy man who dropped his trousers THIS is the face of a ‘flasher’ who dropped his trousers to reveal a nappy … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Flashers

Christ! Ee bah gum

Jesus seems to be popping up everywhere these days; he gets where water doesn’t. Plymouth Herald, 5 April 2010 (story): Family says ‘face of Jesus’ appeared in Mum’s gum A FAMILY have told of their wonder at finding ‘Jesus staring … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Getting oneself in the paper

Immortalised in Lego

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has enough on her plate without this. Middlesbrough Evening Gazette, 9 April 2010 (story): Darlington student makes Lego Amy Winehouse SINGER Amy Winehouse has been immortalised in Lego thanks to a budding artist. Justin Ramsden has … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Getting oneself in the paper, Stalkers

The Incredible Hulk

There’s no doubt about it,  eyewitness accounts are dumbing down. First it was police in Bolton on the hunt for someone ‘white and large’, and now this. Derby Telegraph, 15 March 2010 (story): ‘The hulk’ bit off my nose A … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Heartless bastards

Top of the vox pops

Ah, the dreaded ‘vox pop’. A staple feature of regional newspaper coverage against all better judgement, this peculiar exercise sees news reporters regularly dispatched into the dangerous streets in search of pithy comments from the unemployed and those running errands. … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Editorial, Getting oneself in the paper, Vox pops

Newsflash: Norman Tebbit admits wrongdoings

It’s always heartwarming when an ignorant old bigot of a Tory like Norman Tebbit holds his hands up and says: “I was wrong.” Unfortunately, he’s only admitting to being wrong about the origin of some empty wine bottles in Bury … Continue reading

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Filed under Celebs in the 'hood