Category Archives: Heartless bastards
Bastard pensioner targets bastard aristocrats
It’s excellent to see the sophisticated OAPs of the north-east beginning to take direct action where it matters. The Northern Echo, 21 February 2011 (story): Water supply feud leads to pensioner’s threat to Percy family POLICE have been alerted after … Continue reading
Sick and tyred
As dozens of vehicles career off Canvey Island’s roads as a result of loose tyres, all the locals can do is moan about the ruddy mess. Southend Echo, 24 February 2011 (story): Just who is the phantom tyre dumper? A … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Justice
Stinkogeddon in Spalding
The stench of mystery is plaguing the market town of Spalding, Lincolnshire. This could be the whodunnit to end all whodunnits. Spalding Guardian, 13 January 2011 (story): Police bid to catch Spalding stink bomber POLICE are hunting a hooded man … Continue reading
A Christmas visit from the ‘House Doctor’
Christmas is a period of warmth and happiness, uniting communities up and down the land with love and festive cheer. But apart from all that, Redcar’s bitter neighbourly disputes continue every year without interruption; and let’s face it, that’s going … Continue reading
Filed under Community spirit, Heartless bastards
Harping back to the parking bays
Why is it that old people are always willing to be locked up? No wonder the prisons are so overcrowded. If nothing else, this story is an important lesson in car dashboard etiquette. The Echo, Southend, 22 November 2010 (story): … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Heartless bastards, Justice
Worms in the news…
…it simply doesn’t happen enough. Dunfermline Press, 29 October 2010 (story): Harry’s war on the worms! A ROSYTH gardener fears he may never win his war against an invasive garden pest – despite killing more than 3000 of them at … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
Some Flatmates Do ‘Ave ‘Em
You try and do your flatmate a favour, and what thanks do you get? Public humiliation in the local paper, that’s what. Bristol Evening Post, 7 October 2010 (story): Bristol couple left feeling empty after ‘hapless’ flatmate loads up wrong … Continue reading
Filed under Gazette Faces, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
Insert cock joke here
This isn’t the first time a cock has been pulled for a bird’s benefit. Gloucestershire Echo, 7 October 2010 (story): Terrified cockerel pulled from wheelie bin A FRIGHTENED cockerel is lucky to be alive after being rescued from a wheelie … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Moral outrage
Foaming at the mouth
Another example of a regional newspaper’s letters page being used for a heavily sarcastic public ‘thank you’. This time it’s thank you for NOTHING. The anger in this letter keeps building wonderfully, much like foam freshly sprayed from a can. … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Letters to the Editor
A timetable for bus withdrawal
You wait ages for a news story about bus timetable uproar, and then two come along at once. Just look at these ANGRY seething raging locals in Scotland, with their arms folded like an evil troupe of school dinnerladies: Barrhead … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards
The benefit of hand-sight
The regional media is happy to take its lead from the right wing national gutter press when it comes to scare stories about benefits. The Bolton News has exhaustively covered the story of Terry Langford, 62, non-cripple, who was recently … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Moral outrage, Utter bullshit
TODDLERS have been left in tears…
Yet more upset children blighting the news. But this time it’s about ‘TODDLERS’, a word which is so much more emotive and heart-rending when appearing in capital letters. Exeter Express & Echo, 21 July 2010 (story): Children distraught after playground … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards
Pavement people
Old people are quick to sneer at youths riding bikes down pavements but, as this story goes to show, they’re no better when it comes to keeping pedestrian areas clear. And they certainly don’t like it up ‘em. Surrey Comet, … Continue reading
Know your onions
You hear a lot of scare stories about buying goods from backstreet dealers but, frankly, there’s rarely anything to worry about. Ealing Gazette, 25 May 2010 (story): Bargain laptop turns out to be bag of onions A SCAM victim thought … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards
