Category Archives: Heartless bastards
Stop crowing about it
Although pigeons are and always will be the most evil form of the avian species, The nether regions expresses sincere and heartfelt sympathy with those currently facing the menace of this crow in Catford, south London. Mind you, people who … Continue reading
Filed under Bravery, Getting oneself in the paper, Heartless bastards
Bright Ears, burning like fire
The US military famously used songs by well-known artists (link) to assist the interrogation of terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay. If you happen to be in the US military and enjoy torturing folk, you might therefore be interested in this … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Sensational headlines
Delight at return of post box
When mindless thugs (aren’t they always?) carried out a senseless act of vandalism (aren’t they always?) upon an innocent post box (aren’t they always?) last summer in the small market town of Wokingham, Berkshire, they probably didn’t appreciate the true … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Justice, Sensational headlines
Aerial assault
Typical. Just when you’ve finally got to grips with the message about not letting cold-calling conmen through your front door to rob you of petty cash, they find new ways of getting in. Remain vigilant in the home: a conman … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Justice
‘Got to put it away now’
Many newspapers would pass up the opportunity to run a story like this. Thankfully the Lancashire Telegraph is not so picky, and delves into the matter with great gusto. Lancashire Telegraph, 12 April 2010 (story): Blackburn shop calls security over … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Moral outrage, Upstanding locals
Canine the Barbarian
Police are investigating but, much like an over-adventurous puppy, this one could run and run. Salisbury Journal, 24 April 2o10 (story): Dog injures nose POLICE in Ringwood are investigating the circumstances surrounding an injury to a dog’s nose. A woman … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards
Where is the poetic justice?
At first glance, it could have been just any old protest at plans to close a local primary school. But then the affected children publicly unburdened their souls through deeply moving verse. The Staines News was first on the scene. … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
The Incredible Hulk
There’s no doubt about it, eyewitness accounts are dumbing down. First it was police in Bolton on the hunt for someone ‘white and large’, and now this. Derby Telegraph, 15 March 2010 (story): ‘The hulk’ bit off my nose A … Continue reading
Filed under Celebs in the 'hood, Heartless bastards
Frogs: massacred
It’s hard to believe there hasn’t yet been an episode of hit nostalgia crime series Heartbeat based on this storyline. I’d like to see PC Alf Ventress try to get to the bottom of this one. Scarborough Evening News, 26 … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Sensational headlines
Willow death man
Not many people have their schoolwork murdered, so spare a thought for these poor pupils from Basingstoke. Basingstoke Gazette, 6 March 2010: Pupils shocked by willow death man THE death of a willow man figure at the hands of vandals … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards
Dog dirt digest
Won’t somebody think of the children? The Bolton News, 5 February 2010 (story): Dog dirt puts children’s walking bus under threat A CHILDREN’S walking bus scheme could be axed — because the route they take to school is littered with … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Letters to the Editor, Moral outrage
One man and his (fetid) dog
Today in the region: heartless bastards strike again. Basildon Echo, 4 November 2009: Guide dog Hamish is ‘too smelly’ for Rose cafe By Max Orbach A BLIND pensioner is furious after his guide dog was refused entry to a cafe … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
You can feed me lollipops
This is a quintessential popular-servant-of-the-community-shafted-by-heartless-bastards news story. Alloa and Hillfoots Wee County News, 21 October 2009: WEE County’s longest serving lollipop lady was given the fuzzy end of the stick when she discovered her lollipop of 23 years had been … Continue reading
