Category Archives: Justice
Sick and tyred
As dozens of vehicles career off Canvey Island’s roads as a result of loose tyres, all the locals can do is moan about the ruddy mess. Southend Echo, 24 February 2011 (story): Just who is the phantom tyre dumper? A … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Justice
Horse pervert admits stroking ponies
Hmmm, “barred from approaching tethered animals”… the implication seems to be that this prolific horse botherer is free to have his wicked way with untethered ones, provided he can catch them first. Encouraging equine foreplay rituals seems like an odd … Continue reading
Hair today, suspended from the Town Council tomorrow
Reasons why Town Councils simply should not be allowed to exist #743: this story. Reasons why Town Councils are an essential part of Our Way of Life #3: this most extraordinary of wigs… The Northern Echo, 14 January 2011 (story): … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Justice, One of our own
The 27-year-old woman, who asked not to be named…
‘Got the hump’! Ahahahahaha…!! Haaarggghh! Clearly, all that journalism training really served this Bridgwater Mercury reporter very well indeed. Bridgwater Mercury, 7 January 2011 (story): Woman gets stuck after taking ‘short cut’ THE driver of this car got the hump … Continue reading
Filed under Justice, Upstanding locals
That’s when good Neighbours…
Sometimes, a barefaced crime is the easiest to get away with. Not in this case, mind. Maidenhead Advertiser, 4 October 2010 (story): Bungling burglar stole neighbour’s curtains for his home It was curtains for a burglar who was rumbled after … Continue reading
Harping back to the parking bays
Why is it that old people are always willing to be locked up? No wonder the prisons are so overcrowded. If nothing else, this story is an important lesson in car dashboard etiquette. The Echo, Southend, 22 November 2010 (story): … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Heartless bastards, Justice
Bike light fetishist seeks similar
This is surely one of the strangest personals ads ever seen in a local newspaper. Bridgwater Mercury, 19 October 2010 (story): Police urge victims of bike light theft to get in touch Bridgwater police are appealing for cyclists who have … Continue reading
Filed under Community spirit, Justice
Gettin’ Jiggy Jiggy Wit Wife
You know that awful feeling when you arrive home in a taxi but realise you’ve got no money on you? The Bolton News, 13 April 2010 (story): Machete-man who chased taxi driver down the street disappears A TAXI passenger who … Continue reading
Filed under Justice
Delight at return of post box
When mindless thugs (aren’t they always?) carried out a senseless act of vandalism (aren’t they always?) upon an innocent post box (aren’t they always?) last summer in the small market town of Wokingham, Berkshire, they probably didn’t appreciate the true … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Justice, Sensational headlines
Aerial assault
Typical. Just when you’ve finally got to grips with the message about not letting cold-calling conmen through your front door to rob you of petty cash, they find new ways of getting in. Remain vigilant in the home: a conman … Continue reading
Filed under Heartless bastards, Justice
Pleaded guilty to damaging a dongle
The question we’re asking this morning on The Jeremy Kyle Show is: what is it about Norwich residents and their urges to put inappropriate objects through inappropriate openings? As if the ‘Man put melon through ex-partner’s cat-flap‘ story wasn’t enough … Continue reading
Filed under Justice, Sensational headlines
Ring a-ring o’ roses, a pocketful of mucus
A new form of civil warfare is plaguing the streets of Britain: sneezing. Stockport Express, 10 January 2010: Protester cleared in court of sneezing on security guard Jennifer Williams A MAN who held a three-year vigil outside the town hall … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Justice, Sensational headlines
Man threw profiteroles at wife
Being a court reporter for a regional newspaper is a demanding role requiring a firm grasp of media law, an understanding of courtroom protocol which might seem baffling to The Average Joe, and an ability to condense proceedings into a … Continue reading
Filed under Justice, Sensational headlines
