Category Archives: Sensational headlines

They were still dead

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Filed under Sensational headlines

Frogs: massacred

It’s hard to believe there hasn’t yet been an episode of hit nostalgia crime series Heartbeat based on this storyline. I’d like to see PC Alf Ventress try to get to the bottom of this one. Scarborough Evening News, 26 … Continue reading

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Filed under Heartless bastards, Sensational headlines

A-rousing headline

I’m sure they’ll have had a laugh about this one back in the newsroom. When you throw in the ‘romped’ and ‘cruising’ references too, it’s clear there’s something in the air at the Reading Evening Post. Thanks to Nowtas for … Continue reading

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Ring a-ring o’ roses, a pocketful of mucus

A new form of civil warfare is plaguing the streets of Britain: sneezing. Stockport Express, 10 January 2010: Protester cleared in court of sneezing on security guard Jennifer Williams A MAN who held a three-year vigil outside the town hall … Continue reading

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Filed under Council hatred, Justice, Sensational headlines

The bleeding and the obvious

This Welwyn & Hatfield Times billboard was found in Potters Bar by Ben Ferguson. In tomorrow’s issue: the Pope  is a Catholic heartless and bigoted fascist.

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Man threw profiteroles at wife

Being a court reporter for a regional newspaper is a demanding role requiring a firm grasp of media law, an understanding of courtroom protocol which might seem baffling to The Average Joe, and an ability to condense proceedings into a … Continue reading

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Filed under Justice, Sensational headlines

You can feed me lollipops

This is a quintessential popular-servant-of-the-community-shafted-by-heartless-bastards news story. Alloa and Hillfoots Wee County News, 21 October 2009: WEE County’s longest serving lollipop lady was given the fuzzy end of the stick when she discovered her lollipop of 23 years had been … Continue reading

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Filed under Heartless bastards, Sensational headlines, Upstanding locals

Sometimes it’s just in the jeans

Quite fittingly, the first substantive post on The nether regions is all about one of the regional media’s favourite topics: flashers. It is a truth universally acknowledged that stories about grown men revealing their private parts at unsuspecting women or … Continue reading

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Filed under Flashers, Sensational headlines