Category Archives: Upstanding locals
All in a lava
The nether regions, twinned with GrammarBlog, is always up for a spot of spelling and grammar pedantry. When that’s mixed with regional newspaper coverage, the pleasure is almost too much to take. Everyone should be ideologically opposed to levels of … Continue reading
It’s all over the letters page, you give me road rage
This letter has it all: hysteria, self pity, physical insults, human insecurity, a touching element of forgiveness, and excessive exclamation marks!!! If you know the malicious mini driver in question, or indeed if you are her, please get in touch. … Continue reading
Where is the poetic justice?
At first glance, it could have been just any old protest at plans to close a local primary school. But then the affected children publicly unburdened their souls through deeply moving verse. The Staines News was first on the scene. … Continue reading
Filed under Council hatred, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
Hedging bets
Warm thanks to Dave King for forwarding this photo of the front page of the latest issue of the Chew Valley & Wrington Vale Gazette. This week in Chew Valley and Wrington Vale… that is quite some hedge: ‘Champion Hedger … Continue reading
Filed under Upstanding locals
Chinese democracy: lanterns and livestock
Occasionally, our political representatives look to make a name for themselves with ludicrous single-issue election campaigns. Step forward Liberal Democrat MEP Sharon Bowles: Bracknell Forest Standard, 22 February 2010: Chinese lanterns threat to animals Banning wire-framed Chinese lanterns, much loved … Continue reading
Filed under Getting oneself in the paper, Upstanding locals
Penis palaver
It’s a famous old joke, I know, but how many firefighters does it take to free a penis from a steel pipe? Southern Daily Echo, 7 January 2010: Southampton man cut free after getting penis stuck in steel pipe A … Continue reading
Filed under Bravery, Upstanding locals
Critically low on bedding
I love the idea of opening your heart and your linen cupboard simultaneously. The Andover Advertiser makes it sound so easy, but in reality the task of disclosing one’s innermost emotions and dealing with the burden of day-to-day housekeeping can … Continue reading
Filed under Upstanding locals
Pigeonocide (Part 2 of 2)
Vigilante action on the part of upstanding locals with admirable intentions to rid Market Rasen of its feathered gits – as documented in Part 1 – led to an outpouring of angry disbelief from pro-pigeon oddballs in the letters page … Continue reading
Filed under Letters to the Editor, Pigeons, Upstanding locals
Pigeonocide (Part 1 of 2)
It’s not often that Market Rasen, the 24-hour party capital of Lincolnshire comprising 3,200 townsfolk, is brought to a standstill. In the latter half of 2009, however, an infestation of problem pigeons under the railway bridge wrought havoc on the … Continue reading
Filed under Pigeons, Upstanding locals
One man and his (fetid) dog
Today in the region: heartless bastards strike again. Basildon Echo, 4 November 2009: Guide dog Hamish is ‘too smelly’ for Rose cafe By Max Orbach A BLIND pensioner is furious after his guide dog was refused entry to a cafe … Continue reading
Filed under Consumer rights, Heartless bastards, Upstanding locals
Hatful of Sorrow
Imagine the scene: it’s Christmas Eve and you’ve had a frantic day of last-minute Christmas shopping and pram-dodging out in the freezing cold streets. At the end of it all, you’re gasping for a pint. You walk into a pub … Continue reading
You can feed me lollipops
This is a quintessential popular-servant-of-the-community-shafted-by-heartless-bastards news story. Alloa and Hillfoots Wee County News, 21 October 2009: WEE County’s longest serving lollipop lady was given the fuzzy end of the stick when she discovered her lollipop of 23 years had been … Continue reading
